Not sucking is hard, and trying to explain how much you don't suck often only reveals more suck. The path to not sucking is through your ears, not your mouth as so many of us tragically assume. Trying to brazen your way through suck only adds to it. Right behind your ears is your brain. It has inputs like ears and eyes, and outputs like hands and mouth. It's only when the outputs are outputting that the suckage becomes apparent. When the brain is in input mode using your ears and eyes, the suck watts go right to zero and you appear wise. The trouble all starts when you think you know something and switch to output mode to educate those around you about something you heard. This is normally fine when you hear things from reliable sources. The trouble happens when the source is just another asshole trying to sell you something and you don't see the sales pitch. Media is fraught with people trying to sell you something from a platform of knowledge and wisdom. Cheap junk, expensive junk, points of view, politics, religion, how awesome they are, how smart, how bad, funny, or indifferent, the world is packed with people selling some type of drivel or another, and it isn't always product. Media on TV and radio is easily distinguished as something to be discarded as garbage. Even though it's brick wall limited ear splitting frequencies are yelling that it's been clinically proven, we still know that it's all bullshit. Enter the internet, where bullshit and wisdom vie for your attentions on equal ground. I don't mean the obvious ads scattered across the screen trying to induce grand mal seizures, I refer to the ads posing as people who pretend to know something you don't. If it's trending it must be true. Trending is another sales tool. These people run around in packs at forums and pose as musicians in studios, clubs, and music stores. Sometimes they're friends too. Their main source of food is people in input mode. Sometimes they're even assholes who spout drivel posing as a blog on craigslist. Them guys are the worst. Anyways.... The key to spotting these guys as frauds is through your ears. I've said before that within reason, gear and what the studio looks like doesn't matter. People trying to sell you something and don't own the expensive mic, will tell you 4 out of 5 dentists surveyed can't tell the difference between this cheap mic and this expensive mic. People who do own the expensive mic trying to sell you something will tell you the expensive mic is the real deal and don't let them other guys fool you. I on the other hand, also trying to sell you something, will tell you screw all them guys and use your own ears. You probably can't tell the difference between mics, but you know good sound when you hear it. Your ears may not be trained to pick out what's going on in a mix, but you hear it every bit as well as any engineer and you'll know good sounds from not so good sounds. Small point here about samples: don't judge the song, just the sounds. There are ways to fudge studio samples too, such as the guy who mixed it is a hired gun and it was mastered in L.A. Always find out who mixed it and where it was mastered. If it wasn't mixed by the guy you'll be getting the sample is void. Mastering can add some sparkle and warmth, but isn't really the determining factor in a sample. Nonetheless, it's worth knowing where it was done. But I'm side tracking through previously explored drivel. All I really wanted to say is trust your ears, keep your brain inputs open, and ignore me and all us assholes trying to distract you with one hand covered in bling flailing around in your face while the other sneaks it's way to your wallet. Listen. So on to saving the music business. I know nothing on the subject but will continue typing regardless. I notice a lot of people quite concerned about Spotify and youtube and itunes and digital copyrights and the future of music sales and blah endless. Facebook and all the forums are all abuzz on how the greedy evil corporations have stolen the rights on everything from happy birthday to drum samples and how to get around them. Indignity is rampant, torches will be issued. While true that corporations are evil and greedy and do in fact own the rights to Happy Birthday, I think our focus has wandered a tad. Knowing what happens when you put a song somewhere online is good and we should check into it before tossing our crap on facebook or youtube or whatever. The area I'm on about is in online and offline distribution. Distribution is a magic word used by asswizards to snag a piece of your music. Somehow it has been decided you need distribution and if you don't get it you're stupid and will die. "Give me 700$ and I'll take 15% of all future sales and your tunes will become part of a "catalogue" and "distributed". This is the new business model and you better get with it or maybe you're too stupid and need to die." The online guys don't charge the 700$, they just take the whole thing less 3% to you. I know many musicians who have tunes on various online sales outlets and not one made a single anything. Distribution seems pointless and futile, yet the chatter continues in ernest. So here's my thinking: Bypass all the asswizards and sell CD's and merch to people at gigs, and put your stuff on your own website and sell it yourself. It's not that hard to set up. You'll get 100% of all sales. Imagine that. All the numbers and theories I just rattled off are similar to all my crap, pulled from my ass with a flourish and a Ta-daaah, but the concept I suspect is sound. If anyone knows more about this or spots holes in my theories, email me and I'll include it in my next rant. So screw all that, here's the secret to life. The reason people climb mountains to talk to them hermit swami turban types. For some, life is a sales pitch. Their existential justification is if we all believe it, then it's true. Graphs on easels shoot skyward, life is fulfilled and happiness abounds. Here's what's not a sales pitch: Today is not. The sky is not. This moment is not. The things you love and strive for are not, the people you love, the people who love you, your cat(s), the feel of grass on bare feet, your first kiss and every kiss, your first day at school, the longing for freedom on your billionth day of school, your first time on stage, every time on stage, playing baseball, watching your kids play baseball, Watching your kids watch their kids playing baseball, all not sales. Mountains, trees, alleyways, not. The only thing that lies for sure in all our futures is heartbreak, pain, and death.... and possibly an answer to the Big Question. All that lies between now and our inevitable poignant demise is moments. Planning and striving for a better future is great, but live in the moment. Right now is all that counts. Enjoy it. I'm not suggesting you quit your day job, just open your inputs for a bit and catch a few. Here's wishing all y'all a moment today that stands tall and true your whole life.
cosmictunes7